Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
