i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
