You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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