I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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