Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
