My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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