i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
