i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
