just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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