He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
