reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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