Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
