The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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