Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
