Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
