How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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