So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
