One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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