She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
