If that was your dad, he is hot
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
