Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have already put on my inside pants.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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