So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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