my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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