How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
