Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
As shirtless as possible
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
