just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
