It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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