i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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