She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
