I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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