You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
