I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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