guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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