we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
