she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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