Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
