So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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