Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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