if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
