I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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