We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Randomize
