Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
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