Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
