Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
