did you get engaged???
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
