he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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