I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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