Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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