Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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