I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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This is my gift to your gina
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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