And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
