Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize