i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
