I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
