I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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