just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
