it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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