It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize